by chance, or choice?

In the name of Allah and for the sake of my faithful reader(s)..

HELLO :)


Im sorry if I've caused many of you some severe nausea for having to read the bloody same post over and over, Ive been very busy with assignments and tests, and well, since we have a new addition to the family (recently had a nephew) and a member of the family just came out of hospital, so I have a lot of nanny/nursing work to do.

Recently, some people have been proposing that I post more on general issues and things like that on my blog. Well, thank you, I appreciate your ideas, but this is more like an intimate thing for me, you know, my blog is just a place for me to have my getaway, like an escapade you know. It's the only place where I can just say whatever I feel like saying when there's no one else I can say it to. I mean, if people want to know about general issues, they can always google it, anything and everything will come out. I just don't want my blog to be like every other site/blog that you can go to, and get all the same things. Everyone experiences so many different things in life, and that's the point of this blog, i not only get to share mine with my readers, if you feel like sharing your experiences, come share them with me. but again, thank you.

So? I've been touched by some typical issues in almost every country. Homeless people, are they homeless by chance..or by choice? I've done some readings on this and little did I know that most of them are just homeless by choice. Some of them have their own house, and a family. Some of them have a house but not a family. Then I realize, even for some of us, we have everything; a family, a house, but not a home. As for these people who sleep in the streets, a house does not necessarily represent a home. What's a house if it's empty? What's a house without laughter echoing from its walls? What's a house without happiness lighting up every corner of it? What's a house without the sweet scent of memories and meaning lingering in its atmosphere? What's a house if it's not a home? House is a shelter for all of us, but it takes so much more than that to make it a home. There's this uncle I read about, he has a house, a big one, that is. He used to have a family. Now, he sleeps in the streets of KL. During the day, he'll walk all over the city, killing time, and when it's late, he'll find a place to rest and sleep. All alone in the big bad world. He has children though, yet, you know, they left him all alone in his big house. The only thing living in the mansion has made him do is reminisce, think about his family, miss them, reminisce again, get depress, and the cycle continues. So he decided that, since he's all alone in the house, it doesn't make any difference anyway wherever he lives because what made his house a home once was his family, till his wife passed away, it was his children that filled the house with joy, now they left too, what's the point?

Thank Allah and praise be to Him, I have never felt homeless till today, and I hope I will never have to feel that way, ever. All my life, I've been through so many things, from easy-peasy to super, heart-breaking hard, but I've never been or felt homeless. We moved from a very comfortable house, to a smaller one, and to an even smaller one, I've gone from a room with a full bed set to a room with no bed, to no room at all, and now back to a room without a bed but a mattress that's comfortable enough for me, but I've always feel the home-liness of everywhere we've moved to. Simply because whatever happened, my family's with me. Through  thick and thin. I lost some precious friends along the way, but my family stayed by my side all along. It's not the house that makes me feel at home, it's the love and warmth of having them with me that make me feel at home. Truly, sincerely, if it's about the house, I'd say, Melaka is my house, my hometown, although my real hometown is Penang, Melaka is where I grew up, most importantly, it's where I've grown up to love some amazing people in my life. It is where some of the greatest moments in my life have taken place. It has pretty much made me who I am, well, even if the public transport sucks BIG TIME, even if they only have like 4 decent shopping malls that we can go to, even if the people curse a lot on a daily basis, even if it's a small state which is almost always called a 'kampung' that almost everyone that comes from Melaka is called a 'kampung kid' even if they come from a big city in Melaka (some people needs to learn some basic GEOGRAPHY!), even if it's so much worse than KL in so many ways, it's HOME to me. It is my town, our town. It's where I spent almost half of my age now knowing him, falling in love with him, loving him, shed my tears for him, and with him, it's where I've once known what it's like to be so lively, talkative, expressive, loud. And as I left, I've left all of that behind as well.

I first came to Melaka by chance, when my parents got transferred to work there. I was falling in love with my school in KL but we just had to go so we came to Melaka. I fell i love with it eventually, by chance. I've come to love some people too, by chance. Fell in love with him, by chance. Stayed faithful to this love of mine despite everything that we've gone through, by choice. We left Melaka, by choice, unfortunately. There are many other things that I wish had happened by choice, like me having this illness: by chance, like having to lose my big family of bunnies: by chance, like having to lose my bestfriends back then: by chance, like not having the SPM results like every parent wished their children would get: by chance, like my dad just had to smoke again even after his heart surgery: by chance, like my mom had to go through that cyst operation: by chance, all of that happened by chance, the chance that I never ever wished I had, ever, the chances that I wish I could have been given a choice, a chance to choose. Well, you know that's life, like when Michael Jackson had to go and leave me missing his irreplaceable moonwalk, BY CHANCE. 

Some things come with choices, but like some roads, they don't diverge into two paths, you just had to go the way it's leading you to, like a straight highway. So be grateful everytime you're given a choice, don't take it as a pressure or burden, take it as an opportunity for you to decide on which path you want to go. And when you're not given any options, be thankful that you don't have to make a choice, don't take it as a dead end instead. Be grateful of everything, everytime. 

By chance or by choice, you're bound to live a life worth living for, in God's great plans.