The other side of the moon

In the name of Allah, the One who knows it all, He knows better, He knows best.

First of all I'd like to say thank you to my reader(s), I hope my stories really don't wear you out. At least  not yet?

Big thanks to a comment I recently got from an anonymous, but I'm pretty sure it's one of my good friends. But I wouldn't dare to guess who.
I guess this post is just sort of s reply to what you've said.
I hope it's relevant to you :)

Let's see. I am who I was, nothing's changed, or at least from the outside I guess.
This blog is just a place where I can just let go of the things that I haven't been able to, especially that no one bothered to listen.
Here's where I can just say what I want to say without any judgments from anyone in return.
I appreciate when people respond to my stories, I really do, just don't get me wrong.

I just want to explain the part where you asked, "Where is the real ME that you used to know"?
Im here. Still here, probably hiding somewhere inside this mask I've been putting on for a while now,
but yes, I'm still here somewhere.
Good news is that I don't care anymore about the people who left me, I don't give a effing shit.
I've always cared about everyone, especially the ones who are still here with me.
It's not that I'm taking them for granted, again don't get me wrong. That's not what I meant.
As a normal, flawed human, I do feel sad once in a while. Sometimes they just got hold of me.
It takes some time, but eventually I always get back up on my own. Although sometimes it takes longer than usual, but yes, Allah always seems to believe in me.

If you know me well enough, you would have known that no matter what happens to me,
you will always see a smile on my face, fake or not, I don't think you'll ever notice the difference.
That's me. That's the ME everybody knows.
The ME that no one knows, is the one that you refer to as "NOT THE REAL ME",
that's because you never knew or met this part of myself, no one has, except one, and he's God's gift to me.
I'm not saying you don't know me enough, please, don't get the wrong idea.
It's just that, this is the part of me I'm not so proud of showing, but needs to be expressed or get out of its shell once in a while. Or I'll go nuts you know? :)

You know when you witness that beauty of the moonlight at night?
All you see is that bright, beautiful side of it,
and not the hidden, dark side of it.
Yup.

But hey, I'm always me.
I don't want people to know me as a sad, always-so-down person.
I know you knew me as a much more alive person. Not this depressed zombie ;)
Im not depressed. I'm just sometimes, unstable.
I'm always in a lot of pain every single day, physically, that is.
And although nobody knows how it feels like, and I don't intend to share it as I don't need to seek any sympathy from anybody,
I still feel and want to smile, make everyone happy especially when being around me.
Although sometimes it hurts even more when no one cared to understand how much pain I have to deal with with every breath I take, hey, no problem, I'll just go to some corner, break a tear or two and put on that smile again.
So that's why at times, I do need a place where I can just tell what I feel pretty honestly and sincerely,
without being a burden to anyone to have to listen to me whining,
and without having to be judged.

It's not easy being me,
but I know a lot of people out there who have to go through a much more tougher life than mine.
Allah loves us all.
I guess, that's all I believe in right now that still keeps me going.

It's really nice to know someone's actually listening to or should I say, reading my stories.
Even better, to get quite an empowering and motivating words of wisdom from you :)

Just like in that song from Five for Fighting; even heroes have the right to bleed.
Right?