Maybe I should start being pro-Euthanasia

In the name of Allah who knows every single word unspoken and stories untold.


You know, isn't it a little unfair? What do you think? You can just call out for me anytime you need me, anytime you miss me, and I can't; no matter how badly I want to, no matter how badly I need you. What do you think? I think it is not just a little unfair, it's not fair at all. 


And how about this, everyone can come up to me or call out for me when they need someone, and I've always been there for anyone at all, but when it's my time, where does everybody go? What do you think about that?


I listen to everyone, but do I have to listen to myself too because you ain't there, so tell me. Do I have to do everything on my own.


Nope, I deserve everything that has happened. Serves me right. I should not have been so fucking quiet in the first place, I shouldn't have really loved anyone with all my heart and life, I shouldn't have cared for anyone, and hey, guess what, for once, I don't know what to write anymore when my brain is actually about to explode with gazillions of thoughts, and I can't find a single word to say anymore. 


You know what, have a blast. Congratulations. You've successfully made me hate myself for being this girl who loved you, you , and all of you with every single cell of my body, and believing so pathetically, sickly and stupidly in what I have been believing in. Where is my bestfriend now? or the person who claimed to be my bestfriend? and all the people who claimed they love me, the people who claimed that they care? where are the people who claimed to be my so-called friends? Well, where the hell are you now ey? Won't you come around already? Oh, right, I know, I know when all of you will finally come; when you get a phone call telling you that I'm dead and asking you to come for my funeral. What do you think? Or you rather not? 


When will you see, when will you ever see? Seriously, when?
There will never be a perfect time to do anything, it only takes the right determination.
So if you're waiting for the right time to start putting me on your priority list, well I guess I should start telling myself to stop putting up hopes.

When will you ever see?