Purple rain, pour down on me, pour down on me.

In the name of Allah, the one who has all the love in the world.

Ramadan is around the corner, and soon, by the end of the year, God willing, all of us are getting ourselves out of this country (Praise be to Allah) and find a home where we have never thought it could ever be, but I'm so glad, I'm so thankful, so very grateful, although I'm still thinking whether I should proceed with my studies here or there, I'm still so very grateful, thank you Allah, ayah is really smiling again, I can see sparkles of hope now in his eyes, this means so much to me, please don't let him down, aamiin. 

I learnt another meaningful lesson recently. No, it's not a new lesson, just a new addition to the same lesson I learnt previously. Life is neither easy nor entirely difficult for everyone. Like my father said, everything comes with a company; day has night as company, men have women, and so the list goes. Every hard thing comes with its easy part, as the company, also the other way around, if I can say it that way. Nobody's life is ever only filled with rainbows and butterflies, we can never expect everyday to be sunny honey, once in a while, the rain comes down, once in a long while the storm comes, as for Malaysia there's also a drought season, flood, etcetera etcetera. God made everything in balance, only sometimes, or most of the time, we only notice the worse parts of things. As for me, I'm truly very sorry Allah for sighing about life too much lately, but I learnt my lesson. My life is hard, it's an everyday-heartbreak, but look, I have such wonderful family, I have the best parents, and we are all together, no matter how far we are from one another, we are still always very close. I was too busy to think the other side of the coin. A friend of mine whom I thought has the perfect life like ever, well, she looked like her life is going just fine, but she's not happy. She's happy about everything else, but she's not that happy inside, and I felt so bad when I found out because how could I be so selfish for never knowing about that all along. But yes, I've learnt now. I know now. Things can never be too easy or too hard for anyone, everybody has their story. Just like the Earth is rotating, that's just how life will be till it stops spinning. I don't find myself sighing any longer now.

And I've never found myself so excited waiting for Ramadan to come. This time, I want to make my Ramadan so very meaningful, so much more than any other time of my life. Allah, give me your blessings, pour your purple rain on me, I'm feeling so small now, I kneel before you now, please accept my apologies, accept my prayers, accept me back, love me again, don't be mad at me anymore, I beg for your forgiveness. I promise to be better and stronger for you, I promise this year's Ramadan will be the Ramadan of my lifetime. I wish everyone else can accept me, just like a child again, so innocent, back to zero, but I wouldn't, because I've come this far, I've learnt so much, I've come to love so many people and so many things, however, there's nothing else I love more than to come back to you. Purple rain, pour down on me.