the new life.

Last sunday is a day i'll be remembering all my life. It's been long since Ayah hugged me like that, it's been long since mama said 'i love you' to me, it's been long since kak aja kissed me on the cheek, and it's been long since my bothers hugged me that way. I'm on my own now. KL is like a big new planet im on. everything felt new and different and noisy and fast-moving; everyone is moving around so quickly, i feel like vomiting in the crowd. But when i looked out the window from my apartment, i still feel that small and tiny, but from that view, all those tall buildings and everything in the city are no bigger than my hand...i still feel as small, but looking from that view, all the courage in me stood out and i realized that as long as i have this concrete faith in me, i can do this, i can make it through it all; no matter what planet i'm on, i'm going to make it, and i'm going to do it my way. Because i have parents back home who deserve to be proud of me, i have brothers whom i need to aspire, and i have got 'him' waiting to share everything with me. Standing there by the window, i told myself, "i came here for them, i'll do this for them, so i'll return bringing something precious for all of them".

I'm very exhausted, although it has only been 2 days, too many things to do, too many things to remember. Now i'm having my ming and heart focusing on critical thinking because i need to present about 2 short stories in english class, probably next week, but i haven't got the book yet, so i'm freaking out, i hope i have enough time to read the book and decide on the topic i will be presenting. Next, for psychology, i need to write a journal critique, which i have no idea how to do too. Also, I haven't found the book, i've searched at Borders and MPH today but they ran out of it, so that, too, freaks me out. And i desperately need to widen my vocabulary as the lecturer often uses bombastic words in class. All i could do was figuring out the meaning as the sentence was complete. whew. what a blast of exhaustion and horror.

I miss the cafe back home. I wonder what everyone is doing, or if there are lots of customers. But what i miss most is the people; the people i left back home, the people i love.