to my most loyal reader :)

Dear friend,
thank you for all the right things you've said just at the right time, just when I needed to hear them.
Im alright, Im not down or anything, it's just that Im disappointed with how my friends only come find me when they're in trouble and things like that. If not, it's like they totally forgot I ever existed.
But thank you for being there. 
Maybe it's because Im not in the best state of health at the moment, so I get emo a lot.
The pain forces me to stay in bed a lot, so all I could do was think, think, wonder, and think,
I stared at the ceiling and told myself,
"You've always tried to be there for everyone 
but now look at you, sick and pale and no one bothers, 
no one even tried to be here for you, and why do you still care?"


You know, today I was looking for my pills and found two old, most precious letters that I've been keeping all this while. One of them was from my bestfriend, or well, the person who used to be my bestfriend. You know, in the letter she was telling me how much she missed me and she even wanted us to write out all the things we've been through while we're away from one another so when we get to meet up again, we can read them up and we won't be missing out on each other's life. That was the sweet, lovely bestfriend I had, you know. Now she's gone back to where her dreams are about to become a reality and she didn't even have the time to tell me she was leaving, not even a single minute. The great friend who used to be wanting to share every single day of our lives together, not wanting to miss out on each other like ever, now has no time to even talk to me? 


I know everything you said was right, I know, and I believe God knows better, in fact I always have. But Im only human, at times I get sad too. Im not perfect, no one and nothing is. I don't know why the word 'perfect' exists then. You know, I used to have someone who knows exactly what I want to say even before I even say anything. So it doesn't matter how silent I can get, I don't have to worry, for someone knows what I want to say or what I feel already. Maybe yes, life can never be too good to be true for so long ey? Someone else must be in need of such a friend this time, so it's their turn now to be blessed with what I've been blessed with before. Now I have you. The only person who can cope with the silence and boredom in me. I hope I can do something for you so you can be truly happy with your life because I believe you deserve so. But you know all I can do is pray, and pray, or maybe eat, love and pray? Take care babe. Love you a gazillion more back.