hear me now

In the name of Allah.


Have you ever wanted someone to do something just for you, so badly, that seeing them not realizing how badly you want them to do it cuts you so deeply every single time? I have been wanting this so much, and the person I'm referring to has done it once before, and I remember telling myself that my one most wanted wish has been fulfilled and I was so grateful and happy that I gave in to my tears of joy in the hands of The Almighty. Now, I feel like the circle is hitting me back around. Seeing the person I love lying in bed, in the hospital ward, looking pale and sick, has been torture for me, that I wished I was born so much earlier so that I'll be old enough now to go and work and pay for his medical bills and all he needed to do was just to get better, and how hard it was knowing that it's simply impossible, and there's nothing I can do to get him out of there, to return his health back into place, knowing how helpless and hopeless I was, it broke me into pieces. But Allah is Most Merciful. He gave this person who meant my entire life, a second chance. So he got back up and stood on his two feet again, healthier than before, also with the awareness that he has to look after himself and his health from that moment onwards, being given that precious chance to live life like he deserve to, again. Not long after that, fate has hit him and knock him down. How could he lose his faith and give up so easily when all of us has got his back, supporting him through it all, has he not known? Has he lost his sense of purpose in living life? 


"I need to do this for my daughter"


I heard that in an advertisement on TV earlier, it's from a father who decided and is trying to stop smoking for the sake of the daughter. How I wish I could hear that coming from him. 


"My life is pointless"


That's all I can recall instead.


I remember asking him, what's his point in life, and that's the heart-breaking answer that I got, "My life is pointless". Was I not part of his life or was I not a part of the point or purpose? 


The only reason I ask him to do this is that I love him more than anything else and I don't want to see him the way I have before, when he's lying so weakly and helplessly in the hospital bed, I don't even want to have that vision of him anymore. Which part of that whole sentence did anyone not understand?