Awal Muharam - start anew?

In the name of Allah, the one who owns the entire universe, from the littlest things and creatures to all the greatest creations ever made; praise be to You My Almighty.

Happy Awal Muharam to all Muslims, especially, of course, my most cherished family and friends. Let's pause for a moment and take the time to look back at what we've been through, all the things we've gone through that have made us become who we are today, let's take a second to put our two hands together before us and thank Allah for all His blessings, all the things he has made possible to happen, good or bad, let us all have faith in Him and keep believing that one day, things are going to be okay and He'll make everything right again.

I know it's always easier said than done. I find it hard myself, as I always find myself saying things like this and a day or two later I breakdown again. God willing, not this time around. God willing. God willing.

Well, look at me, finally, an honest opinion from a friend, I AM GETTING FAT! 
wow, imagine all the chocolates I've gobbled down in just about a year, and look at what I've become?
I won't blame my chocolates though, because they are the only thing that could help me get things off my mind; things that I should not be thinking of, like you. And they have been very helpful, although not so effective because the effects won't last long and you can't expect me to swallow a gallon of melted chocolate (yumm) 24/7. But yes, looking at how fat I've become, can you tell how hard it's been for me to distract myself from thinking about you, worrying about you, that's how much chocolates I've been eating. And this is how fat I am now. Back then, I remembered complaining how much weight I've put on one day and you said it's good because putting on weight means you're happy. Well, it doesn't apply now, does it? These are not happy fats and flesh, they are unwanted by-products from forcing myself doing something my body and mind are not willing to do but they just had to. I'm not complaining now, but I was wondering if you see me like this, would you say that I'm happy or sad now. I can say I'm happy, as much as I am fat, but I'm not too dumb to not know how to lie too. 

Well, no complaints, no sighs, I thank Allah for all that He's done, for all that I've been through and for what and who I've become. I surrender my entire life into His hands, whatever that's going to happen next is within His power and I'll do my best till the time comes for me to return into His arms.